London South Therapy

Relationship Counselling for Couples

Couples often delay seeking help for their problems because they fear that openly acknowledging their issues will just hurt their partner and inflate the situation even more. Real honesty between one another might feel like an impossible feat and knowing that there are ‘two sides to the story’ you may worry that the counsellor will take sides. Be reassured that your counsellor will have a genuine interest in what is happening in your relationship and will help each partner to engage with one another by giving equal attention and consideration to both so that together you can find new ways of understanding and approaching the differences between you.

   Common issues that are brought to couples counselling include:

  • Communication difficulties
  • Lack of trust or commitment within the relationship
  • Dealing with the consequences of an affair
  • Lack of emotional intimacy or connection with one another
  • Sexual problems, e.g. one partner losing interest or differences in libido.
  • Differences about family values and expectations
  • Problematic changes in the couple relationship after parenthood and parenting differences
  • Managing cultural differences
  • Inability to resolve conflicts, e.g. frequent or unproductive arguments
  • Separation: either one or both partners want to end the relationship
  • Addressing the changes that retirement brings


Caring Experienced Counselling

Sometimes we struggle to effectively communicate with the people who are closest to us. It can be so frustrating and confusing when in spite of our best efforts to find resolution we repeat the same unproductive cycle time and again.This pattern of communication can become  entrenched because it is not always easy to get an objective view of how we are interacting or how the dialogue unfolds when we are ‘in the moment’. When you work in collaboration with a therapist you have access to an impartial ‘outside’ perspective on the relationship. A good part of our work together will involve identifying the obstacles to effective communication and building on the skills needed to address sensitive topics.

It is a normal human tendency to feel that we know the people in our life so well that we lose the curious spirit that we once had at the beginning of the relationship. Making assumptions about one another can lead to misunderstanding and resentment, and frequent inflated arguments over trivial things can be a sign that the real, underlying issue is not being addressed. The counselling environment provides a safe and contained space where each partner is encouraged to fully explore how the relationship is experienced from their point of view. This process promotes self awareness and a better appreciation for your partner’s perspective so that you begin to understand what is really going on between you.

Couples don’t always come to counselling to improve their relationship: sometimes one or both make the decision to separate. This step is never an easy one because the necessity to make sound, practical decisions for the future is often accompanied by a range of powerful and overwhelming emotions that can make the transition feel unbearable.  If you have children there is often guilt about the family breakdown but it is important that you work together to make the separation as smooth as possible and lessen the impact on their lives. Counselling can help couples talk through their feelings as well as provide unbiased support while you navigate your way through this most difficult of times.